DH's shoulder surgery took nearly 3x as long as they predicted, the damage was extensive. Why was the damage so bad? Well let's see it could be:
a. the fact that the wound was received over 15 months ago and was never treated?
b. the fact that his command refused to respect his profile and made him ruck, do field exercises, and use his shoulder in ways he was not supposed to?
c. the fact that when, as a medic, he knew it needed attention and he wanted to go get it looked at and he told his command he needed to see a doctor they called him a shitbag and told him to suck it up?
d. all of the above
Yep you guessed it! The correct answer is d.
So here we are, 15 months later, hoping that he will be able to keep some of his range of his motion and won't end up permanently crippled just because his command are complete petty tyrannical douchebags.
On a less happy note, this weekend I hung out with a close friend whose husband just left for his 3rd or 4th deployment, I can never remember which. My heart breaks for her, and I know that I'll have to go through that again soon. Ugh. And when my friend asked "What do I do now?" I told her what I tell myself whenever DH goes away, what we all tell ourselves when they leave:
You do what you did before sweetie- what we always do - you lean on your family and friends, accept that there will be a constant knot in the pit of your stomach until he walks in those hangar doors, and you hang onto the idea that he WILL be walking in those doors in a year's time and that he loves you as hard as you can.
My husband said he had never considered what it's like for us when they go on deployment and I told him:
You often say that we don't get to see what the soldiers go through and while that's true, you don't see what we go through either. It's not easy to have your partner volunteer to go away and do dangerous things while you stay home and take over doing everything that you used to have a partner to help with.
Knowing someone you love is in danger is, I think, harder than going into danger yourself because most of us would willingly sacrifice ourselves for the people we love. To sit by, on the other side of the world, knowing someone you love could be hurt or dying or even dead is like having a needle pricking your heart and soul every moment you're awake.
Trying to function like everything is normal while dealing with that worry, and the pain of being alone, is not easy. But we do it. We do it over, and over, and over because loving someone who has the courage to stand for their convictions and risk everything to make the world a better place, and to make a real impact on the lives of people they don't even know is worth that pain and sacrifice. But don't forget that you're not the only ones who serve.