**written awhile ago and recovered from my old blog. Soooo much of my writing was lost when I lost that. Now all of my stuff is triple backed up!**
The 5 Stages of Becoming an Army Wife
1. Denial- Well yeah, he’s in the Army but… it won’t be so bad! We will live off post and we’ll have our weekends…. It won’t be that different from him having a regular job. I can keep my job and the Army doesn’t have to be THE focus of our lives.
2. Anger – WTF? Still no BAH? Let me talk to your supervisor. What do you mean you can only talk to my husband? The waiting list for housing is HOW long? Great now another NSF because he had to work another 16 hour day and couldn’t get to the bank. We have to move where? in a WEEK? 24 hour duty AGAIN? How can Tricare NOT cover _____?!Man this Army stuff BLOWS.
3. Bargaining – Ok just let him deploy AFTER Christmas/our child's birthday/our anniversary ok? Let him be here for Christmas? I promise I’ll volunteer for FRG and won’t complain anymore about the million ways that the Army screws my family every single day. Just let him be here for Christmas/ our child's birthday/our anniversary!
4. Depression – Doesn’t everyone keep a bottle of vodka or Prozac in one hand and a cell phone in the other, even when showering/running errands/sleeping while he’s deployed?
5. Acceptance –Using “hooah” in any part of conversation without irony
Buying a wall hanging/plaque/pillow that says “Home is where the Army sends you”.
Saying “when” he deploys again, not “if”.
Calling everyone, including the cashier at the grocery store, the fast food drive thru worker, and your own family "Sir" or "Ma'am", when you're not Southern
Noticing your purse feels heavy and finding that you have started carrying around everything you need for dealing with the Army bureaucracy: military ID,LES, orders, POA, games, marriage and birth certificates, books, a snack, water, a back up cell phone, and a giant bottle of liquor.